when everything becomes too much

I have been holding off writing this post as I have been feeling like a failure, I have been feeling that I have let myself down and everybody who's been reading my blog! And why? When everything becomes too much; this is what has been happening to me. My daily practice all of a sudden out of the blue had become too much for me to keep up. About six months ago I could feel myself struggling with my practice, I did not want to get up in the morning, I was becoming more irritable with my practice, I felt I should have achieved so much more by now, I started to doubt if my daily practice really was doing me any good. At the same time, I did not want to give up my practice, I feared that all my ailments would return, I feared I would fall back into old bad habits. Also, I kept hearing the voice in the back of my head that if I did not do my practice daily I would have to start again from the beginning e.g. practice for 40 days, 90 days 1000 days to make it effective. I started to create new fears and my daily practice became a struggle, a having to, a should do and a huge pressure and a burden on my shoulder. The fear of stopping became quite big I kept thinking what will happen if I give my daily practice a break I was terrified to try and from knowing myself I knew I had to just quit and give it a break. I knew I had come to the end of a cycle in my life and as with all endings, it is so hard to let go and to keep the faith that it would all turn out fine.

So I had quit my daily practice, two months ago after having been so disciplined in getting up early in the morning to do my pranayama and meditation every day. I slept in to 6.30 am from my 4 am rising, and I felt somewhat sad and scared. Somehow I could not completely let go and through the day I did some breathing, some mantra chanting and did some chakra healing. But after a while I became more relaxed I did not push myself to do any practice at all but I just felt the need to listen in the background to some mantra music.
Guilt stayed with me for quite a while, I also did not want to tell anyone, I felt a failure! and I then realised, that automatically I started to sit with these feelings, with these emotions and I started to breathe. My focus turned to my breath whenever I felt down, negative or had an emotion that I could not get rid of, or when I felt a pain in my joints.
I just sit down and started to focus on my breath. When I think about something when I gather my thoughts when I walk whatever I do I now notice my breath. I notice my breathing if it is rapid if I am holding my breath if my breath is shallow. I am completely have become aware of my breath all the time all day long!! I did not have this deep awareness before as I had focused on my practice and then when I was finished I started my day and never gave my breath another thought....

Pranayama is not just daily practice. We do pranayama constantly. We never really stop breathing and I am filled with joy that through my daily practice over the past 5-6 years and now with this so out of the blue ending of my daily ritual of practising pranayama, I have become in tune with my breath. I feel happy about this and I feel it was worth all the struggle, all the fear to experience this. I follow my breath throughout the day, I notice my breath throughout the day and sometimes it is so nice to just stop myself in my tracks and breath slow and deep. I am aware if one nostril is weaker then the other, I am aware when my breath is out of rhythm and I can bring my breathing into balance, and I can slow my breath down to become calm. Becoming so focused and tuned into my breath also makes me feel safe, it makes me feel calm and it makes me feel centred and whenever I am out of balance I become aware of my breath and all I need to do is bring the focus back to my breath and it feels like I am home and safe.
Living my life in this deep awareness helps me to go deeper into myself, it helps me to connect with my soul my spirit the me. It also brings me deeper into getting to know myself and so it is bringing on new challenges and new awareness, it also brings the awareness to be able to focus on the breath and just sitting with the breath and the challenges, which then makes the challenges disappear without me having to put any effort into them.

So the journey never stops, pranayama never stops, but pranayama is the most beautiful thing we have and can experience.
For now, I realised I am not doing a daily sit down practice, but instead I am fully living pranayama all throughout the day in full awareness and this is such a blessing.

forty days of doing eye exercises as a sadhana

Day one, starting to do eye exercises on a daily base for forty days but really I hope I will continue with them for much longer as it is so important to look after your eyes.
First, tune in and take a few deep breaths before starting.
Exercise one; roll the eyes up, down, left, right, 21 times
               two; circle your eyes in one direction 21 times and then in the other direction, nice and slow and big circles without moving the head.
               three; look up to the right corner and down to the left corner 21 times then reverse right down left up.
               four; look to a spot in the distance and then bring your hand close to the head and look at it, distance than close feel the muscles working 21 times.
               five; close your eyes tightly then open wide quickly 21times
               six; bend head back looking at a spot on the ceiling with wide open eyes then do the breath of fire for three minutes. Take a deep inhale and slowly move the head to centre again.
To finish close your eyes inhale deeply into the eyes hold the breath for fifteen seconds then exhale do this three times. Hope you will join me on this forty-day journey!

Day four;
The eye yoga exercises take me about fifteen minutes a day. It feels a bit weird, my eye muscles get a bit tired during the exercises and with some of them, I feel a bit dizzy. And with the exercise crunching the eyes tightly closed then open making big eyes creates a few teary eyes. But when I finished the exercises I do feel clearer in my eyes, I can spend more time on the computer without getting tired eyes. It does feel good doing them. My eyes do feel better after doing the exercises. I had a few friends who wanted to do the forty-day eye exercises with me but they have now chickened out telling me they too busy. One friend suggested to me I should get paid for doing the exercises for others and sending the benefits from the exercises telepathically to them. Ha, I think I could become rich from this, doing the exercises for others sending them the benefits telepathically and get paid for it? Are there any takers?
As there are some many out there that need to do these exercises but are just too lazy to do them.
So I hope that many of you have joined me and are already starting to feel the benefits of actually doing these exercises. It takes only 15 minutes a day!

Day five;
Before starting my exercises I always close my eyes first, tuning into my body mind and soul. Taking a few deep breaths, calming the mind and body. Then bringing the awareness to doing my eye exercises. I breath consciously getting a rhythm going with the exercise and breath. When closing the eyes after a set I take a deep breath hold the breath bringing it into the eyes, then exhaling, consciously breathing out through the nose all the negativity from the eyes. When I finish with all the eye exercises again I close my eyes tune into my eyes and become aware of the healing breathing into the eyes again and exhaling all the negativity from the eyes. This is pranayama being conscious of the breathing, using the breath with the exercises. Being aware and in tune with doing the exercises is yoga, be conscious of what you are doing get a rhythm going get the flow going between breath and exercise. Don't rush the exercise, don't think of it as a chore thinks of it as healing. Be positive while doing the exercise and focus on the exercise don't let the mind wander to what else you need to do today etc.
When I truly focus on the exercise I can feel all the muscles around and in the eyes working, I feel calm and relaxed.


Day ten; Hope you are all doing well with doing these eye exercises daily. I am doing great with them, feeling all the muscles in my eyes working, especially the muscles in the forehead. It is a strange feeling to feel muscles one did not even be aware of in the past. I feel it is important to take time with these exercises and not to rush them, to have the rest with closed eyes in between sets and breathing into the eyes feeling the energy going into the eyes. I have been able to cope easily with sitting on the computer all day without getting the usual eye strain.
The improvement in the eyesight will be different for everyone as it so depends on what the eye problem is all about and for how long one has had eye problems. If your eyes have just slowly deteriorated over time you may find the improvement is better than of someone who has been wearing prescription glasses all their life.
But don't give up, keep going as it does help your eyes even if it is just stopping the eyes from getting worse or from developing glaucoma or cataract. The eyes are as important as the rest of the body so it would be just natural to include eye exercises in your daily routine. I know it is hard to get motivated, but the eyes are so important.
Are you feeling a difference from doing the exercises?

Day seventeen; How is everyone going with doing their eye exercises?
It has been good so far have been able to make it part of my morning Sadhana. Doing the exercises is very calming I have to work on focusing while doing the exercises as I feel so relaxed and could easily go to sleep while doing them. The eyes feel good, and I can work all day on the computer without feeling any tiredness in the eyes that are just great. I use to get so tired from working on the computer or reading, but my eyes can focus better. I still get a bit sore eye muscles while doing the exercises but it does not last.
So hope you all are keeping up with them. These exercises should become a routine to do always, to help heal problems with the eyes and to prevent problems with your eyes.
As more work one puts into the greater the benefit.

Already day thirty-three; and it has been going well. I feel now that doing the eye exercises is part of me now and even sometimes during the day I do a few more eye exercises just before I do a lot of computer work or sometimes after I have done a lot of work on the computer and I do feel it is helping to keep my eyes from getting tired or blurry or getting eye strain. This is what I wanted to achieve with doing the eye exercises for 40 days, that I will naturally think of doing them regularly or to avoid eye strain or make a job in front of the computer easier. I now think of the exercises and in the long run, my eyes will benefit from it.
So keep up I am hoping you are all keeping up with these exercises!


Well, the forty days are up and I feel that I have achieved the goal I had set for myself which is to get myself to do these eye exercises on a daily base have them included in my daily sadhana, without skipping them or making excuses to myself not to do them. It has felt good doing these exercises regularly and I even enjoyed them. I still can feel the muscles when doing them and it still sometimes feels a bit weird doing some of the exercises but my eyes feel better they feel less irritated after a long day in front of the computer. I just feel more strength in my eyes more able to focus and not getting any tired eyes at all. I will now continue them, I will see at my October appointment with my optometrist what changes I have achieved. I know these exercises will help my eyes to get healthier and to stay healthy.
Will you keep up with your eye exercises?

changes are happening on a deep level

15.09.2011
Pranayama goes very deep, it works on a very deep level and when you start working with pranayama, there is no escape from having to heal on a very deep level. Emotions, thoughts and a strong awareness are stirred up and you are phased with learning to understand what your challenges are, what your hang-ups are, what emotions you have been carrying with you all your life. Pranayama helps with the healing of your deep inner being. Pranayama helps to unlock blockages, self-imposed restriction, self-sabotage, and all the stuff we are holding on to. Pranayama helps with healing deep inner feelings, burdens, stresses and all the underlying causes. The hardest part about it all is that these challenges come to the surface to be healed to be released, to be let go of. In these situations, it is good to have a teacher who can help you through those challenges and stop you from giving up. Pranayama has helped me to find my inner teacher and has helped me to be aware of what is going on and has helped me to work through all these challenges to heal myself on a very deep level. It is a wonderful experience, but it is also very challenging and is testing my faith daily. It is wonderful so to come out on the other end and while practising Pranayama the warms and the healing energy that flows through my body, my mind, my heart and soul is amazing and words can not even begin to describe these feelings. Pranayama gives you the strength to conquer all challenges.


18.11.2011
It has been interesting for me to observe myself. Changes are happening on a deep level from practising Pranayama regularly. It has come to my attention that my reactions to stress or difficult situation are changing. I do not react in the old ways any more. My response to stress or difficult situation is calmer, it is more focused and it is not affecting me in a negative way. I noticed that the old feelings are there just for a short moment and then from deep within the new and positive response is coming to the surface.
In the past I would react negatively, then become aware of my negative reaction, then I would try to change and to work through it, now it is changing from deep within. This made me realise that the healing is now starting to happen deep within me and as a result of practising Pranayama, I no longer react negatively to stress or difficult situations, it is automatic that I do not react negatively now, which means by being calmer the physical body can continue to heal and deep physical, mental and emotional ailments can now heal at the core.
In the past, the negative reactions came automatic and it was as if I could not stop it. Now the positive reactions come automatically which shows that Pranayama can change negative behaviour patterns on a very deep level. The power of healing from Pranayama is continuous impressing me just amazing. Bad I still do have these bad days too but they are easier to cope with now.

The behaviour pattern is changing from deep within





Pranayama and its effect on animals

Since I have been practising Pranayama I have noticed a change in all my animals. I have two large breed dogs, 3 cats and two Lorikeets. One of my dogs is still very much a puppy and wants to play and chase the cats. When I get up early in the morning she is all up and ready to run and play, but as soon as she sees me sitting down to practice my Pranayama she calms down and goes to sleep next to the cats. The cats often sit around me and they sense when I am calming down they come closer. They know when I need space and they move. The connection between the animals and me has changed, we are much more in tune with each other, we can communicate better and the animals just feel so much calmer. When one of the animals get sick they try and sit on my lap when I do my Pranayama and it seems to help them they seem to feel better when we finish our practice. After practising Pranayama I go and open up the bird aviary and the two Lorikeets sit on my shoulders and start to smooch me and I can feel they are soaking in the energy. I am sure since practising Pranayama it has made my environment more pleasant and calmer, it is benefiting my whole family.

Pranayama heals headaches and migraines

February 2017
A Chapter out of my new eBook; Pranayama, Mudra, Mantra and Meditation for health and well-being

Pranayama does work, and I have been blogging about this many times. To me, it was such a huge relief when finally something worked for my migraines. I had suffered from migraines from the time I was about eight years old until I discovered the power of Pranayama.

My migraines were very debilitating, started always at four am in the morning. I could not lay down as this made it all worse. I could only sit up and hold my head back. This caused my neck to become very painful. I always had to yawn a lot with a migraine and many times I dislocated my jaw from the intense yawning. The intensity of a migraine resulted in vomiting and diarrhoea and nothing really gave any relief, I had to sit it out for the twelve to sixteen hours that it had taken for relief to come. Anything would set off a migraine, the weather, the food, the stress and so on.

Often I had one or two migraines a week. Very exhausting as I could not sleep with it and my back and neck were hurting from the sitting position that would slightly ease the intensity of migraine. No medication worked and I just had to put up with it. My stress in life increased and the migraines increased and then the death of my soul mate the dog tipped me over the edge...I was at the end of my strength and screamed at the universe for not helping me!!

Then I sat at my computer checking my emails and here an email was in my inbox, that was not addressed to me but I did read it and it was from a Pranayama yoga teacher from London who offered his help to this person the email was meant for.

I checked out his website and thought what on earth is Pranayama yet I was very drawn to it. So I emailed him and asked if he could teach me the Pranayama via Skype as I am living in NZ and the response was that we could try. I had eleven sessions to learn about ten Pranayama’s and they made me feel so good. I then practised the Pranayama’s daily and within two or three weeks I was free of migraines. Six years later still no migraines.

Your sufferings can become your biggest blessings for me learning about the Pranayama and yoga has changed my life so much I cannot put it into words and I just keep wanting to scream about it from the rooftop!!! Thanks to these awful migraines I have come to experience the power of Pranayama yes your sufferings are your blessings. I wish so I did not have to suffer for so many years.

Here below are all the old posts I wrote during my time of healing my migraines and headaches while practising Pranayama daily.


16.08.2011
I had suffered from migraine headaches since childhood, as long as I can remember. Pranayama has healed my migraines, my headaches for good. I use to get the migraines from stress, from a storm approaching, from windy weather, around my menstrual cycle, from foods, from sinus problems, anything would set off a migraine often with vomiting and always with diarrhoea. The pain would be so severe that it waked me at about 4 am in the morning and I could not be lying down I had to sit or walk around to get a little relief. Walking around gave only short-term relief as my legs would get so tired I also had to yawn a lot and sometimes so much that it hurt my jaws. No medicine helped as I would vomit it up as soon as I had taken it. They use to last from 4 to 12 hours and the next day I was always so exhausted. I got them 2 - 4 x a month. When I started practising Pranayama I noticed immediate relief. The migraines turned into headaches within 1 month and then I had no migraine and no headache for 3 months. Then I had a week of just niggling headaches and then nothing for a month then one more headache and now it has been a good six month without migraines or headaches or even a niggle. It is just such a relief and I do not know how I ever coped with all these migraines as it is such a great feeling to be free of them. Pranayama does really work it is amazing.

Updating!Dec.2013
It is now over three years that I have been practising pranayama and since my migraines disappeared I have not looked back. I have not had any migraines since and I may get a slight headache once in a while like maybe every six months or so if I have been straining my neck but a headache is so light that it does not really bother me. It is just so amazing to be rid of them and that they have not returned anymore. Pranayama truly works!
Pranayama really works! Dec. 2013

Update!20.04.2015
Just a quick update, just about five years since my start of practising Pranayama and my migraines have not come back, this is just so wonderful!!! It is beyond words, to be free of a life full of migraines!! I can get an occasional headache in the morning on waking if I strain my back or neck, but it is only a very mild headache, and it goes within an hour or two of getting up and moving. So Pranayama is brilliant!!!

UPDATE: 1.10.2016
it has been now about 5 or 6 years since I started practising Pranayama and I am still free of migraines. I worked out, that I had suffered from very bad migraines for about 40 years and no medical Doctor had ever been able to help me. And I must say I had never been successful with natural remedies either. But with Pranayama and mudras, I am totally free of migraines and headaches. I wish I knew about Pranayama much earlier.

It is pure bliss not having migraines anymore or even headache words can not describe the feeling!


All information here is from my personal experience copyrights@BarbaraSchaer all rights reserved

Pranayama warms the body regulates body temperature

We have just been experiencing one of the coldest time here in New Zealand, and Pranayama has kept me warm. The polar storm has bought us snow and icy cold winds and the houses in New Zealand are not well insulated, the icy wind is getting through the tiny gaps in the windows and it is hard and expensive to keep the house warm. I have always suffered from bad circulations and get cold easy, but since practising Pranayama I have been so much warmer. I do not feel the cold, in the same way, I use too. The cold wind is not getting into my bones any more, I am staying warm it is just amazing. I can not believe, how I am feeling warm while everyone around me is freezing. With Pranayama, Ujjayi, Suryabhedi or Suryanga pranayama breathing in through the right nostril, and the breath of fire, doing more of these pranayamas have made a marked difference in my body temperature keeping me warmer then I have ever felt. I also noticed that I have had no pains in my joints, even so in the past in these extreme weather conditions my joints would hurt. Its because my joints feel warmer and the cold does not penetrate me. The extent of benefits one can get from practising Pranayama is beyond words.

Pranayama what you should avoid doing

When practising Pranayama there are a few important things to do or not to do:

Some Pranayama like Kapalabhati and the breath of fire should be practised on a completely empty stomach only, as when they are practised straight after eating they may cause heartburn and can raise your blood pressure, therefore, doing it first thing in the morning is best so you have no food left in the stomach for a good three or more hours.

When doing Kapalabhati it is important to do it correctly, to do the speed and rhythm correct as if you do it incorrectly you can get acidity, heartburn and shortness of breath, and you should avoid doing Kapalabhati straight after having had any surgery.

When doing the three bandhas with the Bahya Pranayama, you also do them on a completely empty stomach as you do not want to hold in and pull up toxins while holding the bandhas. You should not do any bandhas if you are menstruating, this is important. These three bandhas with the Bahya Pranayama could be practised fifteen minutes before a meal as they fire up the digestive system which is very beneficial.

If you got a cold or have a sinus infection you should not do Sitkari, as it will make your infection worse, because it cools the body.

When practising Pranayama make sure you have enough time, if you stressed and rushed doing Pranayama it will not be very effective. Check and recheck yourself that you do the Pranayama correct, stay mindful, focused and aware throughout your practice, it is easy to slip and rush them or get tired, or not doing them correctly or not sitting straight etc.

After practising for eleven months I still catch myself out and need to focus on doing all the Pranayama correct. You will feel a difference when you are focused and do all the pranayama correct. It takes time but it is worth it. Don't be too hard on yourself it will all come together, make sure you are relaxed when practising Pranayama and you have an inward smile and feel positive.

Another thing is important, make sure you are warm during practising and the air you breathe in is warm and not icy cold.
I just made the experience, over the past few weeks it has been very cold here minus six degrees and colder and my house was chilly when I was practising the pranayama.  A few days later I could feel my lungs were very sore as if I had pneumonia, very painful. I thought about what I had done and realised that I was breathing in all this chilly air. I now make sure the room temp is warmer and I wrap myself in a warm blanket and have a hot water bottle on my back to keep warm. I am on a very tight budget and can not heat my home too much so it is important to find other ways to stay warm. My lungs healed quickly when I kept myself a bit warmer during practising Pranayama.

An eleven-minute practice a day is better than not practise any at all. Many other pranayamas can be done during the day even about 15 minutes after eating.

Ujjayi Pranayama should not be practised while having a sore throat but is a wonderful Pranayama as a preventative for colds, sore throats etc.

Sitkari is a wonderful Pranayama to cool off if filled with anger, and also is cooling when feeling over heated, but should not be practised in cold air and on cold winter days.

Be sensible, and always be observant, aware and focused when practising any Pranayama.